Hi. I’m Sandra from Accounts. I don’t know why people call me that, but they do. Let’s just say so many people know me on 23Road where I live. Boys and girls too. And most of them have accounts in the bank where I work.
Slim girls get asked out a lot. Yeah. I said it. I don’t know maybe it’s because boys are just plain cheap and they assume slim girls don’t eat. Maybe they assume that with a Maximum of 1500, even at KFC, they can feed a skinny girl and still feel good about themselves. Or maybe they just find skinny girls attractive.
That’s not my point.
My point is this. I shock people a lot. When I eat. And eat and eat. Honestly my tummy is like an endless pit of hunger, that will never be satiated. Okay, no I exaggerate. It’s not like I’m never full. I do get full. The thing is, I love food. I’m addicted to food. And I know it.
This is no exaggeration, there’s no food in this world I cannot eat.
There’s no food I have ever rejected in my life. Put me in a roomful of food and I will consume. Yes. I spend a lot of money on food. Way too much infact. People always ask me how come I eat so much and never get fat.
The thing is I have this hyper thyroid something that digests whatever I take in so fast, there’s usually not much left for fat storage. Well, that’s no excuse, hyperthyroidism doesn’t mean you must always eat. Eating is just something that has become habitual for me. And I have never lacked food.
Talking about habits, and the bad things I do. There’s one I don’t quite like and wish I could stop it. Even talking about it, I feel so much shame.
I ruminate. A lot! No, not deep thought. Nah. I ruminate like a goat or any other animal with different chambers of digestion.
Every time I eat something nice. Meat, Jollof rice, biscuits, coca cola, malt, wine, chocolate, beans.. You name it. Whenever I eat anything, I must vomit it, let it dance around my mouth again, and then swallow. If it’s liquid. If it’s something still chewy like meat, I chew it again. Sometimes while I’m eating, I could have new food meeting up with old regurgitated food in my mouth. I don’t know how or when I started doing it. It must have been a really long time, because I don’t remember any time in my life when I didn’t regurgitate. I could regurgitate as many times as possible, sometimes until the food starts tasting bad.
When I’m home, I don’t even care anymore. My family feels like it’s a disease. A disgusting one. I honestly tried and failed to stop it sometime ago. Now I’m grown up and working in a decent office. I cannot be regurgitating bits of food and chewing in board meetings. What will I tell them I’m eating when the whole staff had lunch together 2 hours ago and there’s no snacks allowed in the board room? Now I can’t control it. I have searched online to see if it’s a disease. It’s not. But so many people do it. I wish I could just command myself and stop.
I have cavities in my teeth due to so much activity in my mouth all the time. My mouth works up a funky smell every now and then, and I always carry a breath spray wherever I go.
So, there’s this guy that really likes me. His name is John from human resources. And I like him a lot. He’s nothing like those boys that like to take out a skinny girl.
John actually sees something in me. He listens when I talk, and he tells me I’m unique. He says it like it’s a revelation and he wants to help me discover it. I want to discover things with John. But I’m so scared to death I will throw up a mouthful of crusty honeyed coconut bread appetizers our date, and chew it again, and then swallow it. He notices a lot. There’s no way I would get away with something like that.
I don’t want to push him away.
This is how far food addiction has brought me.