It is the world, coming fast at me.
I can feel it closing in on me,
My breath is stuck in my throat,
It has struck my skull to numbness
while my heart pounds away in my ears
Anxiety could be a friend that cripples you
It sucks your breath and makes you feel
as if you’re drowning.
Your chest tightens
and your hands becomes extremely sweaty.
Life spirals all around you
and you feel you’re going under.
It’s that friend that seeks to take you under.
The world turns around in a dark canvas.
A picture of all his demons painted before him.
In these times, fear grips him
and causes his chest to tighten.
In these times, his knees starts shaking
desiring to escape from his demons.
Not knowing that his real demon is anxiety
and it seeks his soul.
Even when things are going well
I can feel my anxiety
I feel it in the silence
That comes after laughing out loud.
I hear it on days
You sleep off without sending a “love you text”
My anxiety doesn’t make sense and I…
…I can’t finish this poem
Because my anxiety has turned
My pen into a siren of insecurities.
I’m in an unhealthy relationship with my prison guard
He caged me in a box and I can see the keys,
but he won’t let me out
And even if sometimes,
he’s the only friend I can talk to
My anxiety is my parasitic lover,
he cannot help me.
Sweaty palms, doubled heartbeats.
Red eyes, blushed cheeks.
It was happening again and I sank deeply,
Thinking of my buts, and ifs and maybes,
I saw the question as he looked my way
So I answered… I whispered.
Love can’t take the anxiety away.
Anxiety could become so serious without speaking.
It could be so serious that you act without thinking.
Now you can imagine acting without thinking.
Imagine the Negative vibe you may start bringing
When anxiety kicks, you make sure you kick back faster
If it becomes severe
Please see a doctor.
That thing that started happening to you after Kasie died
That made uncle start saying you were kolo
And made mama go to 15 night vigils and endless fasts praying for you
That thing that made you restless and afraid of everything under the sun
That thing was not just in your head, like your husband said
It was not our village people,mama’s prophet lied.
They were wrong.
I am sure now
Because i have it too.